Saturday, January 22, 2011

On life. Rambling out loud. Expect nothing great.

Life passes so slowly it seems. You want to be XYZ and it takes ages just to get there. This is my biggest fundamental problem with RPG's. They set an idea for how long it takes to get to your XYZ that is completely unrealistic. And yes I realize how stupid it sounds to complain that a game's goals are unrealistically quick to achieve when compared with life goals.

Bear with me. I'm thinking out loud here.

It just seems wrong to expect goal-attaining so quickly. In the short period of life where I've been trying to seriously improve myself(say in the last 4 years), nothing ever comes quickly and when it does arrive it seems such a small goal in retrospect.

What is it about mountains that makes them seem so much smaller once you have reached their tops?

Running a mile seemed...so huge. Running two? Crazy. Passing a PT test? There was no way.

Going to Basic and AIT. Looking back if I knew then what I know now....I would have had so much fun. It really really isn't a big deal.

And now? My impossibly huge problems now? Learning passable Spanish by July. And getting 80 in every AFPT catagory for my age group(27-31).

It is the mind that is the issue maybe? When I don't think about things I do great and achieve many things. When I think too much about issues I talk myself down and fail. Well not just thinking really. More of moods.

I am either extremely positive about my chances of success and current situation or extremely negative. The negative times I've taught myself to argue with(with limited success) but I try not to accept the negative attitude/approach. Still when the swings land on tests... I struggle.

And its time for me to take Wulfa to work so I'll end this ramble here.

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