Friday, August 24, 2012

Sometimes I want to retire.

I love my job. It's where I need to be. It's keeping us afloat during Damm's time in school and has reduced the overall stress of our lives. But. Those days when I'm at work all day and then I meet Damm somewhere so we can have an actual conversation? Or I meet a friend? And then my hours with my kids are reduced to two or three, and they're cranky hours because they're tired, I'm tired. And I just want to retire.

I have to remind myself, though, that my job is a God-thing. I wasn't going to apply, didn't think I was brave enough. But I heard that voice, felt that nudge, knew that I needed to apply. I knew I was going to get it from the beginning. So I have to trust that my kids will be ok, that my prayer of my time with them being doubly meaningful and valuable has been heard, and that they won't remember the days when momma was gone so much. And I also think how good it is that I have these moments of sadness, because it reminds me that I really do want to be with them, that I do want to treasure these moments. And I need reminding. I think all mothers and fathers do.


So, treasure your little ones. Value every moment, even the ones where poop didn't make it into the toilet or sleep wasn't gotten because someone decided it was a good night to cry. Don't worry about tomorrow, don't wish they would grow up faster. Find the blissful moments in today. I'll be reminding myself to do the same thing.

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

I have nothing new to read.

This is a rather tragic occurrence. Due to my job I am surrounded by books, by book dust, by people who love books. Maybe it's overload? Whatever the case, there is nothing new right now that I'm tempted to read. I did think about reading the new Pittacus Lore book ("The Rise of Nine" I think) but then I heard that P. Lore is none other than James Frey, infamous writer of "A Million Little Pieces" (The Wikipedia article says nothing about him writing the series so my information may be unsubstantiated. I'll do more searching and report back if he didn't write the series).

If you don't remember, and it's not a big thing if you don't, James Frey was featured on Oprah. For a while there anything featured on Oprah became a major bestseller, we would sell out, the warehouse would run out and it became an absolute nightmare. Then we'd have plenty and everything would be good, the angst forgotten. Anyway, James Frey pitched his book as a non-fiction title. Turns out it wasn't non-fiction. He made large parts of it up. Didn't stop his book from being a bestseller. It does make me not want to read anything he reads, though, especially since he's very anti-religious and a "self-proclaimed atheist" (so saith Wikipedia). I could tell, especially in the second book. Nothing positive to say about religion, Christianity in particular. (I didn't finish the second book.)

Besides that there was Bill O'Reilly's kid adaptation of his Lincoln bestseller. Looks interesting but I'm not really in the mood. And what else? I really can't remember. Political books are coming out in droves but that's not my thing either. I know who I'm voting for, even if I'm not happy about the choices. So, blah.

Now I have read some books, not new, that are worth mentioning. "Redshirts" by John Scalzi is pretty funny (it's fairly new). I went back to Anne McCaffrey's Pern series but decided I don't really like the ones her son collaborated on, even though the writing is crisper and the whole thing flows better. Too much free love going on without any consequences. I'm re-reading Lauren Willig's latest Pink book, "The Garden Intrigue". I've also read some teen books and am appalled by the morality expressed in them. It's ok to sleep around, consider abortion, get pregnant at a young age, etc, all without feeling the need to form a lasting relationship with the one who you're fooling around with. No consideration that perhaps you need to keep your legs closed if you don't want children. Sex is apparently a necessity, something that everyone is entitled to. I say hogwash. Don't do it if you aren't prepared to accept the consequences. There are toys to tide you over, or you could just practice self-control. Which is another foreign concept in these teen books. There were other sticky point but these are the ones I remember. I don't relish going back through the books to find the other things.

So what are you reading? Any good suggestions?