Friday, August 24, 2012

Sometimes I want to retire.

I love my job. It's where I need to be. It's keeping us afloat during Damm's time in school and has reduced the overall stress of our lives. But. Those days when I'm at work all day and then I meet Damm somewhere so we can have an actual conversation? Or I meet a friend? And then my hours with my kids are reduced to two or three, and they're cranky hours because they're tired, I'm tired. And I just want to retire.

I have to remind myself, though, that my job is a God-thing. I wasn't going to apply, didn't think I was brave enough. But I heard that voice, felt that nudge, knew that I needed to apply. I knew I was going to get it from the beginning. So I have to trust that my kids will be ok, that my prayer of my time with them being doubly meaningful and valuable has been heard, and that they won't remember the days when momma was gone so much. And I also think how good it is that I have these moments of sadness, because it reminds me that I really do want to be with them, that I do want to treasure these moments. And I need reminding. I think all mothers and fathers do.

So, treasure your little ones. Value every moment, even the ones where poop didn't make it into the toilet or sleep wasn't gotten because someone decided it was a good night to cry. Don't worry about tomorrow, don't wish they would grow up faster. Find the blissful moments in today. I'll be reminding myself to do the same thing.

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