I have only one tactic: 1)Gently bounce crying kid. 2) Sing the following: Hush little baby don't you cry. Daddys going to sing you a lullaby. If that lullaby won't sing. Daddies going to buy you a diamond ring. If that Diamond ring won't shine. Daddies going to buy you a lowing kine. If that lowing kine won't low. Daddies going to buy you a buffalo If that buffalo won't roam. Daddies going to buy you a brand new phone. If that brand new phone won't ring. 3) Repeat the italics until kid is asleep. I will do this for up to an hour before I find the need to try and come up with new lyrics or swap tanking with Wulfa.
Two of we, plus three of ours, makes five of us.