Two, and three.

It's been a rough week. First the Miniorc developed croup, which worsened, as croup tends to do. We went to the doctor on Friday, got the meds and figured it would go away. Lo and behold Sunday the cough worsened and Minorc had a few instances of (apparently) fighting for breath. We took him to the ER and experienced the incredulity of the staff (they obviously though we were overreacting about his cough) turn to concern as they discovered that it actually was good we brought him to the ER. He's fine, he's got the equivalent of a nebulizer (spelling?) and he's not coughing anymore. I haven't quite recovered from the doctor rolling his eyes at me when I said the words "I went on the internet ..." (in order to find out if his symptoms were severe enough to warrant the ER) but hey, my kid is fine and the doctor did know what he was talking about. Seriously, though, do doctors think their patients aren't going to go on the web? And what's wrong with We...

I stare at an uncertain future.  I worry about how tomorrow will go or if I will have a place to sleep in six months.  I am scared that all I'm doing is failing even more spectacularly than I ever have before.  I have no peace.  I stare at my children's face and wonder if I am betraying them.  I fear constantly that I have let down my spouse.  Where am I and how do I get away from here? I don't know what its like to have nothing from day to day but I certainly don't know from month to month.  So far everything has worked, so far nothing has broken too badly.  But how long will I be able to keep this up?  How long until everyone sees through this facade of success and I am dragged away to pay debts I cannot and my family goes without? Where is my hope?  Where is my future?  Where is my promise?  "To you, LORD, I call;     you are my Rock,     do not turn a deaf ear to me.  For i...