Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Relationships. Regrets.

I have a bad habit. I will make friends, be extremely happy with my friends, move somewhere else, and completely forget to talk or call or visit. I just drop them.

By bad habit I didn't mean a quirky silly thing. This is a BAD thing. It is a distressing thing. I hate this aspect of myself. But I still find myself not wanting to stay on the phone and chat or to reply to emails. "I have nothing to say" is usually the reason I give.

And as a result I do not have any lasting friendships. I keep contact with a few people(Dawn, Amy) but mostly because they are the WONDERFUL types that know everyone's birthdays and all of their emails/phones and they call you and things of that nature. Not because I succeeded in anyway at keeping the lines of communication open.

I feel like I've hurt some wonderful people by my treatment of them(Ian, the Kelly's, Bonnie). And I've seen this continue in my online relationships. My first WoW guild I left without even saying goodbye... I just transferred. Now we weren't really connected in that guild but that isn't a reason for not saying goodbye.

When you leave friends, a job, a guild, family you should take the time to say goodbye. You should; even if its difficult or they don't care. Because this is what is polite and caring. It shows a degree of respect for the person you are leaving that you will take the time to let them know where you are going and why. And if you will be back.

And for friends and family you should also take the time to give them updates about your new life. Even if it is only a yearly/monthly note saying what you have been up to. This mundane information lets them share a part of your life and keeps them involved. And you get to keep your friends.

I have decided very recently to work on this. I hope I do better this move then my previous ones. It really sucks to have people be part of a key portion of your life and then to lose them and never be able to say "remember when?". I don't want it to happen again.

If you are one of the people I hurt by my actions, I'm sorry. Please drop me a line and I'll gladly pick it up and make amends.

1 comment:

Dawn said...

Ah, Kerry. I'm glad that you consider me one of the ones who makes the effort to keep in touch. I'll shoot you an email later so that you can send me your new address. Then you cookie package will make it to your new place.