So on days when ROTC decides at the last minute to have another event and screw with my plans for the week and my homework is piling up and the house is trashed again ... I wish I could leave it all. Take my kids and run back to TX, where the sky is blue and the grass is green and it actually rains (it's God's land, after all;).
Many people wonder how we do it. Both of us full-time in college with two kids and a household to run. Most days I'm fine-everything is scheduled and there isn't much down time but we manage. But on other days I have complete meltdowns and frequently come close to calling it quits. If there were any way to redo this whole going-back-to-college thing in favor of a more relaxed pace and no financial worries I'd do it. But there isn't, and in a way that makes it worse. There is no escape. We have to continue.
And so we will keep trudging on. It's what I do best. My brothers inherited the creative and talented genes of the family. I inherited the ability to do monotonous activities day after day without end. It's why I'm able to run marathons, it's why I was any good with music, and it's why I make good grades. A high tolerance for drudgery.
Tonight I have a spinning class. After an hour being pushed and prodded by my favorite instructor of all time I will feel loads better. My homework load will feel easy, the house won't look so bad, and the desert with it's icky creatures doesn't seem too horrible. Still butt-ugly, but not the end of the world. To those of you who wonder how I do it, here's your answer. You've now read about Wulfa at her lowest. And because I have kids, because they must be fed, I'll snap out of it.
But every once in a great while it's enough to make me write about it.