Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Impressions of Las Cruces. By Wulfa.

Brown. Brown brown brown. And some more brown. Damm hopefully points out the little trees and pitiful shrubbery to the side of the road and says, "Look, that's green!" I tell him that sorry darling, but that's not green. That's a wannabe plant, not a real one. The view of the mountains is pretty. The sky at night is pretty. The city of Las Cruces has way more than Springfield MO had. I just don't like Las Cruces. And that's putting it mildly. I've used the words "hate," "running away with the Orclette and Bambi," and "can I just go comatose for the two years we're here?"

BUT. We're going back to school. And the campus-well, I'm gonna remain noncommittal. Damm
is over the moon excited. I'm not yet but then one of my transcripts hadn't arrived so I wasn't able to speak to any advisers. I was a bit weirded out when the dude advising Damm told me with no shade of doubt that the History Dept. Head, Dr. Brown, would want to talk to me. Visions of interrogation about my motives, inquiries of past academic successes, and me totally forgetting why I like/want to go into history flashed through my head. All of this depends, however, on us getting enough financial aid to pay for the entire semester plus books. I did transfer to the Barnes & Noble but they have only a few hours to give me at the moment, and Damm is still looking. He impressed the manager of a lovely Starbucks who was so taken with him that she was going to mention on her conference call with all the other Starbucks manager that one of them needs to hire him. We'll see. Our schedules are so complicated because of the Orclette that it might be hard to get enough hours. This is why I think I have an ulcer forming. I have a constantly upset stomach. At least no panic attacks. I threw away all my Valium.

I start that B&N job today. I feel like I'm going to walk into a snake pit. The two friendly people were the store manager and the dude with tattoos. The rest looked my way, nodded, and went back to whatever they were doing. Or they looked openly hostile. Good grief, am I that bad looking?

Speaking of tattoos, they're scarce here. I've gotten more looks here than I have anywhere else. I actually got a disapproving one from a female. I thought Las Cruces was liberal? And it's a college town. I thought the kiddos would be more daring. Apparently not.

The Orclette is slowly adjusting. She LOVES the doggies. And wants to pet the doggies. Complication is that none of them are allowed near her. The puppies are just not dependable enough. She won't let G-ma or G-pa hold her without a fuss yet, but I'm sure that will come in time. The house isn't really toddler-proof so we have to follow her around everywhere. I think she is a wee bit jealous of Bambi. She always tries to climb into my lap when I'm holding her. Speaking of Bambi ... Bambi is getting spayed. We couldn't afford to give her IV fluids while she was under the anesthesia. It was an option, not required, but still, that was hard. She comes home late today. I'm curious to see what getting spayed will do to her personality. She acts like an old fuddy-duddy most of the time. She lapses into puppy hood when her brother is around (Max, whom I do not like-he bites me, but fortunately he stays away from me most of the time) and when the Orclette tries to play with her.

Living arrangements. WAY too many people. I'm a recluse. Always have been. Too many people distress me. My mother says I should get over it. I really wanted to drop the f-bomb on her at that point but the most I managed was "you're being SUCH a mom." (and that's about the meanest I've ever gotten with my parents. I never verbally sparred, just went out and got tattoos :) We get along fabulously most of the time but sometimes she manages incredibly painful direct hits. And these people want to talk to me. Ask me questions. Like, "what would you like for dinner?" or "what did you think of the campus?" Horribly invasive right? (in case you didn't get it, I'm being sarcastic at my expense. I don't actually think that. Well, I do, but it's not justified.) But the Orclette loves all the attention, Damm is really enjoying spending time with both his parents, and I have a nice hallway that I can retreat to. And retreat I do.

WoW has been sparsely played these days. I've been too tired. I still get on in the early mornings for an hour or two but the Orclette's naps have been taken in a car and when she falls asleep I also conk out. And there is the fact that we can't currently afford to buy the expansion. I suspect Damm might talk one of his brothers into buying it for us, but that's not certain. So .... I was waiting for that to level Beo and Wulfa. If we're not getting it immediately than I probably won't play after it's released. It would just be too painful to see people talking about it. On the bright side, I have a new hunter. She's lvl 11, a dorf. I've never had a ram mount before :D I just had the itch. I'm sure you hunters know what I mean :D

So, that's what I think of Las Cruces. Only 2 years. Then Damm will have his Bachelor's and will have a nice job again. I will have some sort of degree and will be working towards a 4-year one. That's good. Think positive. I've stopped crying myself to sleep at night, so that's a step. I have a dog. I love my dog. My dog is incredibly well-behaved when she's not around the other dogs. Damm likes it here, the Orclette likes it here. I don't even want to like it here. But that's not positive thinking.


klaki said...

You're a good woman... Dammy should be grateful. My wife's parents live in Florida, and I refuse to live there. I feel the same way about Florida as you do about LC. Luckily my wife is awesome and respects that and hasn't asked to move down there. She knows that I would do it, because I would suffer for the sake of her. It seems you are doing the same thing.... kudos to you. I'll be praying that things get better.

I'm the same way when it comes to a lot of people. When I get around a lot of people I tend to want to pull away. It's not that I don't like the people I'm with, but when there are a lot, I feel smothered.

Nasirah said...

I'm sorry you aren't enjoying your new home. =( I hope things get better for you soon.

Papersmith said...

Lived in Phoenix for two years (96-97). People look at me funny when I tell them that it was sunny every day, very rarely rained, never snowed...and I hated it. I seriously started to miss weather and seasons and GREEN. Trees, grass, vegitation! Moved back to Missouri and found out I was allergic to all that crap, lol.

Sorry to hear you're unhappy, but just think of it as a means to an end, and a story you can tell the Orclette when she's older. Once you have your degrees...you can move back to gods country, we'll be glad to see you home.