I cannot describe how hard it is for me to remain cheerful right now. My life is so entirely different from what I expected, that now I do not know what I was thinking back then. My plan had been to get down here and stay busy. That has been the furthest thing from what has happened.
Instead I find myself constantly distracted or in conversation. Nothing ever seems to get done and daily I lose the battle. Hell, its not even like I'm playing too many video games. I play half what I played when I was working full time. I don't think about WoW much at all now.
I don't even feel like reading.
It seems like such an easy thing to me to get a job. I mean I -know- I can do a number of different things and do them well. Even things I don't enjoy.
But thats not the issue. Even 3 months doesn't seem like a horribly long time to be without a job, and I've only been out of work for one. The issue is that I find myself with a lack of hope. I did not ever imagine I would be this down. I'm usually the bright hopeful one of our little family unit. Aww hell. Maybe I'll wakeup tomorrow and feel better. Maybe tomorrow the dark will lift and go away.